You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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