I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
