Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So many bounce houses so little time
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
