he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
