he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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