they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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