we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
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