Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
