Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
The air taste purple.
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