how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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