why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
