My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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