oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
No stitches, just platelets and will power
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
