She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
