but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Found the puke drawer
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
