i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
