My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
