moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize