Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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