Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize