Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
