Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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