I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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