I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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