i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
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He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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