do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
