You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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