whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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