she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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