sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize