So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize