so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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