I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
