then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
the room spins SO much faster in panama
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.