Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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