I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.