Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno

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  (810): oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno http://tfl.nu/xl94
  Replies (7) Good night (1774) Bad night (643)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself

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  (312): if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself http://tfl.nu/z0gj
  Replies (57) Good night (706) Bad night (6069)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"

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  (773): you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE" http://tfl.nu/hmmg
  Replies (17) Good night (6506) Bad night (1178)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins

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  (412): Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins http://tfl.nu/q4of
  Replies (13) Good night (3400) Bad night (810)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....

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  (252): it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby.... http://tfl.nu/2jxq
  Replies (16) Good night (2828) Bad night (3943)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"

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  (305): he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question" http://tfl.nu/300d
  Replies (11) Good night (856) Bad night (3884)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.

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  (410): I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube. (1-410): I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds. http://tfl.nu/szhm
  Replies (13) Good night (4964) Bad night (1017)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.

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  (775): I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question. http://tfl.nu/abym
  Replies (7) Good night (2922) Bad night (1132)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back

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  (617): some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back http://tfl.nu/e5xr
  Replies (10) Good night (4953) Bad night (1082)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.

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  (281): i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend. http://tfl.nu/4vq3
  Replies (7) Good night (965) Bad night (1911)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.

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  (603): I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob. http://tfl.nu/3ajr
  Replies (5) Good night (1792) Bad night (815)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.

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  (843): I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest. http://tfl.nu/0b74
  Replies (6) Good night (675) Bad night (1297)
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  (760): View more from California

  I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.

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  (760): I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired. http://tfl.nu/xk23
  Replies (4) Good night (1096) Bad night (578)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.

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  (604): Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss. http://tfl.nu/ecsl
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (353)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?

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  (724): How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people? http://tfl.nu/n7j8
  Replies (2) Good night (380) Bad night (716)

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