my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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