he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
