she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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