yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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