just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
