is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
