the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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