also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
this will be a night to untag.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
