Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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