New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
