I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
