sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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