WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
