All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
