It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
