It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
