What a fucking waste of an outfit
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
