I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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