I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
