you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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