erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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