On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
