You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
