We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize