Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
