You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
