i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
