she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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