do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
