Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
